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Going Away is Different than Traveling

He was locked in his hotel room on the thirteenth floor.
The wide open windows let come in hot, suffocating air. A grey sky, as homogeneous and heavy layer over the city, made the whole situation even more overwhelming.
The constant noise of the aeration systems came up from the bottom of the inner courtyard.
Soon a constant and depressing drizzle would begin and last forever.
The television in the background showed just another talk-show. The phone switched off, the full ashtray on the window sill.

He decided to open one of the fine wine bottles he wanted to bring back as a gift to friends and relatives.
But did he really want to come home from that long journey?
He wondered again, as he did it for days already.
And it felt he has been wondering forever…

There are trips that one does to run away from everything and everyone, and from which one come back with the feeling to have never gone anywhere.
Than, there are also those trips one does almost unwillingly or just because one feels “the duty” to go somewhere far away.
His friends gave him that trip as a gift: a therapeutic journey to the other side of the world, a hope, almost a wish as if they were saying "go, get away from here! Relax, have fun... and hopefully you will stop thinking about her…”
Easy to say, as always easy are the solutions the others around can find while one is alone in the deep shit.
He decided to travel anyway, unconsciously hoping for a miracle to come true.
And then he regretted the new failure: he could have even gone to the Moon, but he would not have gone a centimetre away from where he had left himself.
Still clinging to the dreams about her…

He traveled among cities, monuments, churches, natural parks, reserves, mountains, and endless landscapes. From one ocean to the other.
But everything was just a projection in front of his eyes: he was seated, nailed to his own armchair, indifferent as in front of just another documentary.
He felt like this all the time, until…

An instant, just a quick moment and yet something that one can never ever erase from the encyclopaedia of memories.
He sat in a bar in a small town in the Argentinean pampas. A girl's face appears from nowhere, and so her smile, and those blue eyes like the deep sky above the clouds.
An unexpected feeling deep inside, uncontrollable emotional power through his body.
A smile rising over his dry lips: for the first time, in centuries, he could forget about her for a moment.
The girl slows down, looks at him, then smiles again. she passes by and continues to walk but she turns around again, and again, and again…
But he is too confused to do what he should have done: follow her, reach her…
And he let her go…

But now, now that that feeling has not gone yet, now that that girl is still smiling in his thoughts, he now feels that what bound him to his home, slowly starts to dissolve and it finally leaves him free to go.
Now he knows what to do, he now understands he needs to go back.
He has to try, he must follow the instinct.

Sometimes one creates his own coincidences.
Now he knows it has not been and will not be a useless journey.

Finally he now knows he can start that trip that will bring him faraway…

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