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The Possibility to Choose

I woke up late this morning: I forgot to set the alarm and I slept some hours more than usual.

I woke up happy, anyway, and rested (probably I needed it) and I replanned my day: no training today, maybe I will catch up tomorrow; and maybe I will walk to work so I can still do some km.

So, shorting the way to don’t waste other time, I realised I was walking the same road as when I was going to work. And, as if I “had” to walk there, I realised I left there some of my thoughts and maybe it was time to come back to pick them up.

The Light is Still On

I must have had a bad dream last night and I woke up with an unpleasant and strange mood.

In the silence of the early dawn, while I’m enjoying the first cigarette of the day, I remember part of the dream: someone I know, but I can not remember who, tells me “your eyes look really tired … you have really tired eyes …”.
Out of the shower, I’m staring at myself in the mirror.
Eh, I think, my eyes look really tired…and these big and deep dark circles under them…

And That’s It

…I’m smoking another cigarette, and I’ve already lost the count for today.
It’s another wonderful day, not a cloud, temperatures between 10 and 15 degrees, and a sky so deep blue that makes you want to go…
And I think I’m wasting time locked in my job cage, especially when there is little or nothing to do, and time goes slowly while bored on Instagram, Facebook, and so on.
And smoking, of course.

Lost Time and Not

Time flies fast and relentless.
I realised it by looking at the statistics of this site and seeing how little I wrote in the last few months.
I realise it now, thinking it’s already Tuesday, and this week, like the previous one, is just flying away.
It seems like a full life, but I can not accept and cannot perceive any positive vibrations from this optimistic view of the working week.

Society

“This is living” was the masterful advertising of the latest video-games console.
Was that the real life? Was that the perception of living for millions of people, and not only kids or teenagers, happy to rush home, and close themselves in, just to play and join a virtual life?
Was it living to give up the real life, the real world, and spend instead time in front of a screen to fight, kill, drive, fuck?

Years Won’t Come Back

He got out of one of the bathrooms at the office. Deadened silence and the cold white of the neon-light.

He approached one of the five sinks lined up on the front wall to rinse his hands and face. Perhaps it would help him to finally wake up from his numb.

He looks at himself at the mirror, grinning.

Flashback.

And Then?

We spend time trying to kill the time, this is the point.
After the years and all those stages imposed by the society and the family, we find ourselves in our 20s or 30s, already addicted and swallowed by the working life. We take our first responsibilities, our duties as a good citizen, and we find ourselves almost unconscious, tied up and involved with the system, the community, and the institutions around us (the same things we might have tried to fight or to evade just a few years before …).

The Will to Go

I often think about the endless landscapes of Argentinean Patagonia.

I do not need to look at the thousands of photos that I took then,  I carry these landscapes inside me and often they pop-up in front of my eyes, as a slow slide show, on the music of my melancholy.

And I think…

I think about the vastness, the  immensity, and a boundless nature so difficult to imagine and believe real.